Down with the kids

Today it suddenly struck me how expensive my kids are getting! As babies their needs were contained and inexpensive, as I chose not to be seduced by the “spend lots of money on baby stuff to show everyone what a great parent you are” industry. Or, my personal favorite, the “commercialised children’s play industry” where you book them into all sorts of sing along, bang stuff together, climb around and jump up and down type activities (which you pay lots of money for). I always think of it as what we used to do in the back yard when our parents told us “For heavens sake, go outside and play!”.

Don’t get me wrong, every parent needs a bit of structure and focus in a day, so if you can afford it and enjoy it, then great. I just resent the way they are marketed to vulnerable parents. As I often point out that Mozart, Beethoven and even John Lennon managed to scale the heights of musical achievement without the advantages Mini Maestros offers 6 month old babies! At that age isn’t it all about sucking the tambourine? Or is that just my kids?

Now the kids are rapidly growing up the financial drain has started at pace, I believe it is an increasingly slippery slope until adolescence! The problem is that where we used to need only 2 things, now we need 4. It goes something like this; DSO is hungry so he orders a plate of pasta at a café, I can’t be around food without eating so I order a sandwich. Big Sis then states that she wants a smoked salmon pide. I offer her some vegemite sandwiches that I have packed for hungry kids. The answer is a resounding no! How about some sultanas? Not on your life. The grapes I’ve bought along and I’ll order a milkshake?

Of course, Little Bro is now alert to the fact that Big Sis is getting something and he needs one too, whatever it is! He follows the conversation with interest and every time she rejects something he screams “No no no no!” - in case the undesirable object is foisted on him. The only solution is for him to have a plate of adult food that looks just like Big Sis’ - and you better get it right, because he checks carefully!

I used to be able to open a large umbrella when its raining and cover me, Big Sis and Little Bro. This is no longer acceptable as Big Sis requires her own umbrella - “That I’m in charge of Mummy!”.

You cannot of course buy her an umbrella without buying one of identical specifications for Little Bro. So our umbrella expenditure has more than doubled this Winter, not to mention the advanced umbrella management techniques I ‘m required to master so that no-one loses an eye as we career down the street in the pouring rain - a heavily pregnant woman, a 3 year old, a 1 year old and three umbrellas! Take this as a warning, if you see us coming cross the street!