Down with the kids

The waiting place

Perusing all things pregnancy related on the internet (as pregnant woman tend to do), I’ve found lots of lists of things to do as you approach and then go past your due date….

Here is the real list with the addendum “when you have a couple of other kids already”:

1. Tidy something up, this nesting urge is unrelenting!
2. Leave the room you have just tidied, return to discover the kids have untidied what you just tidied. Tidy it again.
3. Try and sneak into the new babies room to pat your belly and gaze at the baby clothes, don’t let the other kids see you otherwise everything will be dragged around the house and turned upside down!
4. Re-read the sections of your pregnancy books about the onset of labour, seeking a magical key that will tell you when it is going to happen. Of course, there is no magic key, and you have read these sections over 100 times. Wonder idly whether this is how people with obsessive compulsive disorder feel?
5. Make plans for the week ahead so you have other things to focus on, but secretly fantasise about calling from hospital to say you have had a beautiful baby and can’t make it!
6. Produce your best fake smile to every person (and there are a few every day) who say “Oh - your still here!”, and “How long now?” or worse still “You don’t look like you’ve dropped at all!” At all costs avoid the urge to physically assault them, it’s a bad look in the third trimester.
7. Do yet another load of washing to make sure all your undies and pjs are clean for your “hospital bag”. Feel disappointed when, after another labour free day or night, you have to take something out of your hospital bag!
8. Take the kids through what is about to happen - “You might wake-up one morning and mummy and daddy wont be here - that’s because we’ll be at hospital having the new baby!”, watch their eyes glaze over and realise that they don’t actually believe it’s ever going to happen.
9. Feel a twinge or a really strong Braxton-Hicks, maybe it’s starting? Sit there looking optimistic for a few minutes and then realise it was nothing!
10. Run through the care arrangements for kids in your head - mother in law is out this morning but neighbour is there, double check mobile number is handy. Neighbour leaves at 11am but friend up the road should be contactable then. Test yourself on fallback plan at random times of the day, every day - just in case. This needs to happen every day from 38 weeks!
11. Consider natural remedies, maybe book in for acupuncture? Dismiss them as costly and possibly ineffective, plus if you can get someone to look after the kids long enough you may as well have a sleep! Once dismissed immediately start considering them again.

Oh - was that a twinge? No, false alarm…

Posted in Daily post | 10 Comments »

Impressing the kids

We ventured on a family outing on Sunday with one of Big Sis’ favorite friends, the 4 year old boy next door. It could well be the last time we take an extra kid anywhere - until our hand is forced and we buy that 7 seater family van - but let’s not think about it yet (the mere speculation gives me the shivers)!

DSO enjoys our car’s automatic sunroof. I on the other hand spend my days minimising sun exposure for the family and really only appreciate it at night, in the middle of summer!

It was a touchstone moment when DSO opened the sunroof and glanced over his shoulder expectantly to hear the - “Wow, that’s cool!” and “I love your car! ” erupt from our 4 year old passenger.

DSO smiled and nodded, looking pleased - but his face quickly fell as realisation dawned:

“I can’t believe I’m trying to impress a 4 year old with the features of my car!”, DSO exclaimed.

No DSO, neither can I - but when you spend the majority of your time with under 5’s I think it’s inevitable, and on the upside they are a pretty receptive audience!

Posted in Daily post | 8 Comments »

Pink, pink and more pink

I was keen to encourage Big Sis to dress herself and she has embraced it with both hands! It’s been an interesting process teaching her appropriate clothing for weather conditions and events.

It’s Springtime here and quite under her own volition she has developed her own trans- seasonal style. She wears a long sleeve top and trousers with a skirt and t-shirt over the top. Depending on the random combination selected she can look quite funky!

Sometimes she gets to the end and puts her Snow White dress over the top of it all. I think she’s noticed that a little girl dressed as Snow White gets lots of attention - something Big Sis likes!

The main issue at the moment is that she is only wearing about 30% of her clothes because everything has to be pink, or ‘approximately pink’. I say ‘approximately pink’ because on some days lilac or a rosy purple seems to be tolerated. It reminds me of those celebrities that only eat a particular coloured food. These days I read something like “Demi Moore only eats food that is green or purple” and I think - “What is she, 4 years old?”

Anyway, I’m riding out the pink fixation without comment - I figure she has to grow out of it and it probably isn’t worth an hour long argument every morning. Choose your battle, as they say in the kids’ instruction manuals.

Little Bro is observing all this with interest and although he doesn’t insist on choosing his clothes or dressing himself he has developed his own particular preferences. Being a boy they tend to be around comfort rather than fashion or colour.

He refuses to wear belts and as soon as he sees one produced hides his head in his hands and screams - “Tight!”

This morning I put him in a pair of tracksuit pants and he exclaimed loudly “Aaaah, comfy!”

Posted in Daily post | 6 Comments »

A luxurious confinement!

Ten days until my due date and I have an extra reason to hope for a straight forward delivery - it’s called the Park Hyatt! In order to free up hospital beds mums that have a complication free delivery can be moved across to a 5 star hotel to endure their confinement in the lap of luxury!

That’s right - a 5 star hotel room (with a nursing station on the floor) and all it entails - room service, cable tv, movies on demand.

The marketing material made me laugh - particularly the suggestion of a massage or beauty treatment at the day spa. None of the photos of relaxing women had, in my opinion, given birth in the last 24 hours! Your milks coming in, you are really uncomfortable and you are not going to lie peacefully on your front for a massage? Even sitting on your bottom for a facial or pedicure would be unbearable - and what about the product of your labor? Your little baby who needs to feed every five minutes and sleeps unpredictably, if at all?

The other thing that intrigues me is how they get you to your room. There is a pretty grand reception and entrance way and I’m sure the “normal” guests don’t want to be queued at check-in behind groups of traumatised looking woman, limping along in their pjs, pushing their tiny baby in one of those plastic hospital cribs on wheels? Surely it would bring the ambiance down? Do we have our own segregated entrance and lift?

I wonder if they ever have any trouble with crazy mums acting up after a few too many panadeine fortes- throwing the tv out the window or flushing breast pads down the sewerage, that kind of thing?

Despite my cynicism I’ll still be looking for a space, with three little kids it could be a long time before I get to a hotel room again - DSO will have it written and highlighted on his copy of the birth plan - “Enquire of midwife as to availability of Park Hyatt, and insist we are put on the list!”

Maybe the whole thing is an elaborate experiment to get the cesarean rate of the hospital down? It could really speed up that second stage of labor having something to focus on - push that baby out before the woman in the adjacent room to secure your spot at the Park Hyatt!

If I get there - I’ll make sure I post to let you know what it’s like, surely they’ll have a free internet connection?

Posted in Daily post | 7 Comments »

My Little Pony

You may remember my post about shopping at an educational toy shop for Big Sis’ birthday. Well, it appears that while I was busy my erstwhile (then) 3 year old was letting everyone know that she wanted a “My Little Pony” for her birthday.

When all the presents were opened we discovered a large proportion of guests had followed her directions, it’s like she put a poster up at Kinder! “My Little Ponies” have now taken over our house. Big Sis is delighted and plays elaborate games with them for hours, her favorite is one where the ponies all have magical powers that allow them to bring the dinosaurs back to life!

Oh well, at least she didn’t request Bratz dolls!

Posted in Daily post | 3 Comments »

A Prehistoric Bug!

We visited the toy library this week - the favorite toy for both kids was a bag of dinosaur figures in all shapes and sizes. They played with them for ages; Big Sis developing an elaborate imaginary world where the T-Rex was friendly and they all went to the park to play! Little Bro was content to crawl around the floor with each in turn practicing his loudest roars!

After half an hour of happy play I was surprised to hear Little Bro screaming hysterically. They weren’t the normal - someones not sharing properly or the toy has fallen down the back of the couch type screams, but really loud terrified wails! When I entered the room he was cowering with his face covered by his hands. Big Sis was standing back from the table pointing an accusatory figures at the dinosaurs!

I noticed a very large cockroach crawling along the table between the plastic figures. It’s hard to imagine a more prehistoric bug than a cockroach and it was about the size of the smallest dinosaur. It looked perfectly in place, except it was moving! Poor Little Bro thought the dinosaurs had come alive!

We dealt with the cockroach, but Little Bro will still not approach the plastic figures - in fact he is examining all his toys with new, skeptical eyes. I suspect he thought he was starting to get a handle on how things work around here - but that dinosaurs coming alive has made him rethink everything!

Posted in Daily post | 5 Comments »

Mind the bump!

Now, in the last month of pregnancy, I realise that I had forgotten about this bit. You wake-up one day and suddenly nothing matters, apart from sitting down (lying if possible) and consuming enough calories. A couple of weeks ago I had a big list, plans and a sense of urgency - now I just have this huge bump and strange sense of overwhelming calm. It’s like the eye of the storm!

I now find Big Sis and Little Bro’s television programmes interesting, and can really enjoy a game of snakes and ladders with Big Sis without feeling I’ve got to jump up in a moment and do something “productive”. The toys are all over the floor, all our clothes are dirty and I just don’t care!

I remember when this stage hit me the first time with Big Sis I was still working - I’d sit there staring at files with glazed eyes, willing myself to concentrate! The kids are loving it - they have to fetch and carry for me but they now have the undivided attention of this whale like mother, who is incredibly interested in how to make the tissue box really look like a car!

My world has shrunk down to a 5 metre radius. My only external interest is cooking and freezing food. I’m serious, every day I cook kilos of things like pasta sauces and pumpkin soup, zip them into single serve zip-lock bags and stack them neatly in the freezer.

Today I caught myself standing at the freezer door smiling fondly at the contents, rubbing my bump. Big Sis interrupted the reverie with “What are you doing mummy” - a very good question indeed!

Posted in Daily post | 10 Comments »

Good Times

It was my birthday last week and DSO asked me what I would like. Actually, I’m not sure he asked, I think perhaps I was generally contemplating the subject and raised it for discussion! The closest thing I could imagine to bliss was an entire day, from breakfast to bedtime lying around reading books, entirely uninterrupted! This was greeted with much laughter, and we both agreed that it may be a possibility for my 60th.

It got me thinking about all the opportunities I had to do just that before kids, and then started thinking about all the other things I haven’t been able to indulge in for the last few years. Here are 5 from a much longer list:

1. Staying up really late and drinking way too much, then sleeping until the afternoon so you feel okay.

2. Deciding on the spur of the moment to go out, have a holiday, or go away for the weekend.

3. Having toast for dinner and not worrying about what anyone else is eating.

4. Carrying a really small, fashionable handbag.

5. Taking risks like scuba diving or hot air ballooning without worrying - treating my life as my own!

Of course, I realise that when the time comes and DSO and I are no longer constrained - I’ll miss these shackles desperately! I expect I’ll long to pack a nappy bag! I will be desperate to cook a nutritious dinner soundly rejected by all diners, read a bedtime story and chase a band of crazy tots that I love to bed. I guess its not to bad after all.

Posted in Daily post | 6 Comments »

Art vs Craft

Big Sis has a propensity to stumble across the big questions. Her latest is the distinction between art and craft. An issue that has confounded the general public and the art world for years has now come under her radar!

It started last weekend when we went to the local primary school Art Show. A fantastic event where they exhibit work from local artists, the school kids, together with cake stalls, performances by the kids and lots of art related activities.

I took the kids into a room labeled “Art Activities” and Big Sis asked what the sign said. She then assessed the activities on offer, clay, pasting, making crazy heads on sticks and quizzed me - “So, is this art or craft mummy?” I conceded that it was what we called craft at home, but that the distinction between art and craft was not all that clear, perhaps a factor of the intention in the heart of the craftsman/artist?

She listened carefully and obviously made up her mind that “art” was the more significant label! She hopped into the activities - with a running commentary to all and sundry:

“Oh, my art is coming along really well!”

“Excuse me I’ve finished with the clay, could you put my art somewhere to dry?”

“I have a little brother, he sometimes messes with my art!”

Our mini Rodin is no longer content with the world of preschool craft and if you slip she promptly corrects you - “It’s art mummy!” I saw her giving Little Bro a dressing down this morning when she was doing some crayon work:

“Oh Little Bro, your much too little to understand my art!”, followed by

“Mummy, I need time by myself for my art!”

Posted in Daily post | 2 Comments »

An Avatar for Dog?

Does anyone else have a problem choosing an avatar? What to choose - a sexy karate kicking video game siren? A funky looking mum with a baby on hip Erin Brockovich style? A chic chick in a suit with dark glasses? A picture of a “meaningful object”?

To be honest, I feel embarrassed choosing any at all! Is it supposed to represent who I want to be, or who I am? Do I change it over time or leave it smiling youthfully like Dorian Grey, as I put on pounds and gather crows feet and grey hair?

I know Big Sis and Little Bro would never face this quandary - for a start they won’t recollect a time before avatars and will no doubt slip between them as seamlessly as kids in a well stocked dress up box!

At this stage, Little Bro would choose a picture of a car, train or “dig dig”, and Big Sis would find the pinkest fairy available.

The one that has me puzzled is Dog. What would a black Labrador choose as an avatar? Would he pick a small furry white lap dog, or a big ferocious guard dog? Knowing Dog as I do, my money is on a bag of dog food! I think his lack of a frontal lobe would probably stop this kind of 21st century identity crisis before it started!

Posted in Daily post | 4 Comments »